


Home is Where the Heart is

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-06-28 11:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19811485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: Words and thoughts don't always match, as we find out in this look at the subtext of Sam and Donna's conversation in “The Leap Back” before he leaped again to save Al.





	Home is Where the Heart is

**Author's Note:**

> Conversation is taken directly from the episode dialogue. Written in 1993.

"Part of me, is Al." _Sometimes I get the feeling it's always been._

"How will you get back?" _I can't believe you're really going to do this to me...again._

"Use the retrieval program." _Sorry..._

"It didn't work the first time you leaped!" _You really can't be serious!_

"I've updated it." _I updated it...I put today's date on it..._

_And the first time you leaped, you told me you were just going to clear up some paperwork in your office._ "Ziggy, what are the odds of retrieving Dr. Beckett?"

NINE POINT SIX PERCENT

_Dammit, Ziggy! I was almost there..._ "Donna -- I can't let him die." _He's been a good friend to you,_ _ **too**_ _._

"And I can't let you go, not when you've just come back to me." _I won't!_

_I've got to convince her...once I step inside the Accelerator, it'll be in her hands to push that button..._ "How many times has Al saved my life?" _Surely that means something to you..._

TWENTY-THREE

"I don't care!" _Al always comes first, doesn't he? I never count. He'll still be able to see you, talk to you. I'm the only one who loses._ "It isn't fair, Sam. It just isn't fair."

_And it's my fault..._ "I know." _But you expect me to let Al die--after I've dedicated my life these last four years to saving strangers. You really want me to let Al_ _ **die**_ _??_

"Please don't leave me again, I don't think I could stand it if you left me again."

_God...she's using that pleading tone she knows I could never resist. She really doesn't care about Al's life. I know this is hard on her, but...how could she?! ...Because I married someone as selfish as I was. Except I'm not the same person anymore._

THIRTY SECONDS...TWENTY-NINE...TWENTY-EIGHT...

_I've got to go..._

"Go." _I'll never have you this way, anyway. He'll always be between us...just as he always is..._

"What?" _Why is she agreeing, suddenly? It's almost as if she knows what I'm thinking..._

"Go." _Go to him. All you really want--all you have on your mind now, is saving him. That's all you care about. Go and forget your wife again._

_She doesn't mean it, she's only saying the words because she knows I'm going anyway. I did it before...and I didn't even have this good of a reason._ "I'll be back. I swear to God, I'll be back." _But not to you..._

"Sam...I love you." _I always have. Even though you love him more._

"I love you, too." _But I guess I love Al more._

**the end**

1/30/93


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